So, apparently it’s been a year since Oliver was born. It sure as hell didn’t feel like it.
I’d say that the alarm woke me up at 5:45, but I literally did not sleep last night, save for 15 minutes while Bo was in with Oliver around 4:30. My mind just couldn’t quite grasp the fact that I was going to work the next morning, it just didn’t seem real. Ok, it seemed a little real the night before as I ran around the house like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to remember everything that needed to be done to make the next day easier. Like prepping what I could for dinner, doing Oliver’s laundry and actually folding it and putting it away, getting his clothes and food ready for Bo to bring to daycare the next morning, and getting my own clothes put out in the bathroom.
I rolled out of bed at 5:45 (but you knew that already) and had a quick bath because we still don’t have a shower tiled in the new house. It’s only been 8 months, no biggie, lol. From there it was downstairs to get the last of Oliver’s breakfast put together; today he got cottage cheese with a raspberry swirl, cheerios, a blueberry and apple granola bar and two strawberry rice rusks. I pulled out of the driveway at 6:31 and make it to work for 7:15, 15 minutes early. Thank GOD I was right about traffic (I’d been talking out of my ass for the last year telling people that the drive would be the same as from our old house, I had no clue).
Work was work. Ok, not true, it was actually really weird. For the first hour or two I actually though “ok, this isn’t so bad, I think I can do this”, but then around 11am it really hit me: I don’t want to be here. I never knew if I was built to be a Mom, I didn’t know what you needed, or what to do to be a fantastic one before Oliver arrived. Now though? Now I know that I was meant to be a Mother. Every thought that I have relates to our boy and keeping him happy and healthy. I woke up every morning excited to go down the hall and pick him out of his crib, his big goofy smile greeting me with nothing but love each time. I would joke from the get-go that I wasn’t going back to work, but now, I really wish I didn’t have to. This time around it just isn’t an option for us, we were stupid and racked up a bunch of debt moving into our new house (appliances, tiles, etc. We still don’t have furniture in 50% of the rooms, so we didn’t just buy whatever we wanted). Thankfully, we’re in the process now of consolidating everything onto our mortgage (it just takes a bit of time because of appraisals and such, and we have to finish the tile first, which we can’t afford to do right now).
Once all that is taken care of, hopefully by Christmas (hopefully a lot sooner, I’m just trying to avoid disappointment), we’ll be om a much better position, and I will get to turn into that housewife and stay at home Mom that I never knew I wanted to be.
Ok, back to work. I didn’t do much of anything all day. I couldn’t remember and of my old passwords, I couldn’t remember where anything was saved or even where I had placed my files on the server. It was really very strange, how foreign everything seemed. Crazy that you can work somewhere for 5 years, take a year off for maternity leave, and forget EVERYTHING. I left work at 4pm on the dot and headed home to get my boy. Thankfully, he was almost as happy to see me as I was to see him. We had to make a pit stop at Sobeys on the way home to get him some more organic milk for daycare as he was almost out, and because were there Momma picked up some Rocky Road ice cream for herself, and some bread for Daddy.
Once we got home, at 5:30, Oliver and I played with his toys for about a half hour, the slide was a big hit tonight, as were some of his little people toys upstairs. Oliver walked all the way from the couch to the console and into my arms. He’s so sturdy now, he just doesn’t realize yet that he can walk even when Bo or I aren’t standing across the room with open arms waiting for him. Around 6 he had a bottle and then conked right out for a much needed nap, as he’s still fighting quite a bad cold. It was at this time that I could Bo and my laundry going, then went downstairs to work on dinner. Well, first I made Oliver some banana mini-muffins for breakfast tomorrow. Bo got home just after 6:30 and kept me company while I cooked until Oliver woke up; then they both did. While I was finishing up with dinner Bo was feeding Oliver some of the shredded motzerella cheese, which he was loving up tonight! For dinner, we had turkey parmigiana and vegetables and pasta in a garlic sauce. Oliver still isn’t feeling 100%, so he didn’t eat a ton of the chicken, maybe 5 pices, but he did enjoy the vegetables and a couple of muffins.
After dinner I finished up with the laundry, folding it and putting it away (so proud of myself here, because I would rarely do it right away before, ending up in wrinkled clothes all the time because the iron and I, we don’t get along). Next it was time to get everything prepped for dinner tomorrow night (I also took a pork tenderloin out to defrost in the fridge so I can marinate it tomorrow night for Wed. nights dinner), then get Oliver’s breakfast asready as possible, and the dishes going. Upstairs next to lay out both Oliver’s and my clothes for the next day at daycare and work, and then finally, at 9:45, I got to lay on the couch with my ice cream and watch the last 15 minutes of The Big Bang Theory. I was in bed by 10:15 and curled up with The Thorn Birds, which I am loving right now. Now great for going to sleep though, it’s certainly hard to put down.