It’s family day in Ontario today, and I thought that would be the perfect time to tell you a bit more about what’s been going on in ours lately. The good: yesterday was Sophie’s 2’nd birthday, and we celebrated over the weekend with a few small parties with family, and some amazing cake (always the most important part of a birthday in my books). Also good – after a week of strep throat and chest infections running rampant in the house, everyone’s finally on the upswing (except me, but that’s just how it always goes). With good though, there’s always gotta be some bad, and ours was pretty rough. You see, I got this cat, Montana, 16 years ago. She was more like a dog in the body of a cat. She was never happier than when the kids were literally laying on top of her. She came to a whistle, slept on the kids pillow with them, and loved giving high-fives. She was absolutely a member of the family, and two weeks ago she went from being completely herself, to us having to say goodbye, in just 36 hours.
After a holiday season where the loss of grandparents was already hanging heavily on them, this was just a blow that the kids didn’t need. I was struggling because Monty was my baby before I had babies, and the kids had lost their best and longest friend. I struggled with how to talk to them about it, I didn’t know how to make them feel better, I didn’t know if I should be trying to make them feel better, or let them work through it on their own time. Isn’t that the problem with kids though – knowing how to relate difficult issues and emotions to them in a way that is comfortable for them to deal with. We read lots of books together, we talked, we looked at pictures, had a few really good cries, and we got a new kitten.
Everyone, meet Izzy!
My kids are tough though. They bottle things in, they force themselves to look ok, and act ok, but then the stress of doing that has them break down out of nowhere. I didn’t know what to do to help them, and that was the worst part. Then, I got to partner with The Adventures of Napkin Man again (see my first love affair with their free apps here). There is an ongoing joke in our family that everything always works out for me, and this was another one of those moments.
If you don’t know, The Adventures of Napkin Man is a show on kids CBC. This show is loved by my guys, and does a fantastic job of relating difficult emotional and social concepts to children. They now have four new interactive episodes up on their website for free, each of them dealing with an emotion that kids often find difficult coping with and expressing.
Wondering just what “Interactive” means?
The interactive episodes are just like the tv show, only they have breaks after key messaging that help reinforce important lessons through games, colouring, and music that your kids create themselves. This is Anna making a song during Bye Bye Bugaloo.
Bye Bye Boogaloo is one of the four new episodes, and just happened to deal with mourning loss. I sat Anna down at the computer with her bowl of cereal and started it up for her. She was instantly excited to see a Napkin Man to watch, so I left her to it, just checking in periodically incase she needed help with anything (she didn’t). After it was finished she came running over to me, telling me all about how the kids class pet had died, but then the butterflies came and they all found ways to remember Boogaloo. It was like a lightbulb went off in her head with Montana, a switch turned for her that I wasn’t able to find, and she was finally able to relate to others in her grief. This was an absolutely priceless moment for me.
There are three other episodes like this as well:
Fun for One helps kids understand feeling lonely and being left out.
Get Well Soon introduces the concept of empathy and helps kids put themselves in others shoes.
Bad Hair Day helps kids deal with feeling embarrassed.
Anna colouring a picture.
I’ve introduced Oliver to Fun for One this week too. We’ve had a bit of trouble at school and knowing how to choose the right people to play with. I’m hoping that this may strike a bit of a chord with him. He hates being alone, but because of that will make bad choices at times just to be included. Just like with mourning Montana, sometimes it doesn’t matter if I’m saying all the right things to the kids, I’m not a kid, so they can’t relate to me. Seeing kids go through similar troubles gives them someone they can relate too. I love that Oliver is seeing that it’s ok to play and be alone sometimes, and hopefully he’ll see that as a better option than playing with the wrong people.
Oliver watching Fun For One on his tablet.
I really can’t praise these episodes enough. There are so many things on tv and online that just run through our kids without leaving any kind of impression (or worst case, a bad impression). I love that there are people out there making quality content for our kids that have tangible benefits to them, and not just emotional or social, but technological as well. These interactive episodes also help them start to learn basic computer skills. To the kids, they’re just fun, but to me, they’re great tools to help me parent in a variety of different ways and keep things interesting.
Now, how about a Giveaway!
The Adventures of Napkin Man are letting me give one of my lucky readers a $100 VISA Gift Card! (Sorry, only open to residents of Canada, including Quebec).
Leave me a comment below to be entered. Tell me something that you’ve done to help your kids through a difficult time, and hopefully we can all find some new ways to relate to them. Good Luck! I’ll be picking the winner on Friday, February 19, 2016. Congratulations to Amy! Thanks to everyone for participating, and for all of your amazing tips and suggestions!
Disclosure: I am part of the Adventures of Napkin Man Online Influencer Campaign and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.
Chris P
When my son is going through a difficult time, we often try to use music to help. For example, we sometimes write a song about the what’s going on and how it makes him feel. Or, we will use a well-known children’s song and just incorporate new words into it. It’s amazing how something as silly as changing some words in a song, or singing about what’s happening ( in a silly way) can often cheer him up!
I also can’t wait to watch the Napkin Man episodes!
Amy Heffernan
When my lil guy (Ethan 6) is going through a difficult time we try and make a lil game out of it. I always make sure to point out different options and different ways to solve a problem or even try and show him different ways to look at situations. We also have a collection of books we read when we can relate with a lil problem.
Thanks 🙂
Napkin Man is also very GREAT!! We love him here in our home.
Email–> [email protected]
Bailey Dexter
To help my kids through difficult times food always works! I always make their favourite dinners and snacks and we have a “good eats & chat time”! Sometimes there’s not much we can do for our children but be there for them with open ears and always finding the positive side to everything. Great chats always bring out the thoughts they have and what better time for great chats with your kids then over their favourite foods! Whether our kids be an adult or a little one I’ll always be there for them and my grandchildren as well.
Nicole Jubleew
I’ve found books to read / share with them so that we can discuss certain topics like making new friends or what to expect when starting school.
Amy M
I don’t have kids but do volunteer work with kids. To help a child through a difficult time I suggest that they journal they feelings with prompts like: I feel like…. I feel this way because…. I can make the situation better by…. This may not work for every child but writing down feelings and thoughts can really help to process what is going on and put the situation into perspective.
ceecee
I take my kids out individually at least once a month for one on one time. It’s a great way to connect with them and let them talk about everything that is going on in their little lives including any issues they are experiencing with friends/school etc.
Louisa
Dance parties always put a smile on everyone’s face!
Angie
Some of our best chats are done on little one on one dates.
Katrina
This is a great suggestion! My son went through a rough stage a little over a year ago and we started doing this – it made a huge difference!
Lindsey
My daughter is almost five years old. Often she needs help to remain calm during an anxious moment. She may become frustrated that she cannot complete a task, or an activity is too difficult. During these times we remind her to take a deep breath. Breathing and taking a moment to pause or reflect can always bring a sense of calm and can help diffuse negative energy.
This almost always helps her- and us, as it is so great to be positive role models for our little beings 🙂
I have also suggested this strategy to a little girl’s parents who belong to my home daycare.
Katrina
Great suggestion! I’m going to try that the next time one of mine starts getting overwhelmed!
Kathleen
When Harlee is having a hard time I do one of two things…We have a tickle party or we shake out our sillies. Sometimes those things don’t work and we just cuddle it out. But at least I try and help her when she’s having a rough go!
Katrina
I LOVE the “shake out the sillies”!!! I’m stealing this one from you 🙂
Danielle
One thing that has worked for us is keeping our daughter busy and distracted by doing fun and silly things! This includes a lot of dance parties. Another is finding a book that relates to the real life situations 🙂
Katrina
Dance parties are a nightly ritual in our house! I put up an ikea disco ball in the kitchen, and we turn it on and crank up the music every night after dinner.
Tania
We have a little one on one mom time before bed where we discuss what’s happening in their lives and how they feel about it. When they are having a tough time I try to help them see some good in it. For instance when our dog passed away they were very lonely but we focused on how nice it was that we got time to say goodbye and tell her how much we loved her and I told them that we could close our eyes and remember her.
Katrina
That’s such a good idea! We do individual tuck-ins after story every night, but that is the perfect opportunity to have a little chat about their day 1-on-1. I’m going to start doing this tonight!
Jennifer Maillet
When my girls get out of sorts I actually sing the napkin man theme song haha! Talking things through is always a good idea too.
Katrina
LOL! Love it! The songs of Winnie The Pooh are frequent ones in our house right now.
Jen
When my LO is under the weather, we cuddle and watch videos of garbage trucks. It’s his favourite thing to do, and gaurantees some calm, happy time for him!
Katrina
Awww, boys are the best! My boy was obsessed with tractors – a major bonus living in a construction site for two years when he was little!
Amy
Great blog. Sorry about your cat, I know EXACTLY what you mean about a dog in a cats body we have 2 of those! Also, love the beige couch, that’s the one I have had my eye on!! 😮
Katrina
Dog cats are the best! We got that couch at The Bay on an insane sale, so check there out (this was 6 years ago now, but they could still have it). It’s time for a new one soon.. the kids and cat have destroyed that one 🙁
Flora
I love the educational shows that show real life situations. My kids love napkin man and Caillou and I do too cause they teach a lot. When there is an episode on that my son can relate to I try to show him remember that time that happened to you and talk about it with him.
When any of my kids are having a hard time I really love talking about it during our family dinner. We are all there and can each talking about what we are feeling.
Katrina
LOVE family dinner! We make sure to do it every night, and it is the best time of the day to just casually talk about their day
Amy
This week our little girl was born 8 weeks early by emergency c-section. So the first thing we have had to do in her life is help her through a tough time. We’ve been staying positive and showing her all our love by giving her lots of cuddles and kisses. We’ve got a long road ahead but we’re going to be there for her every step of the way.
Katrina
Amy – I feel for you so much right now! My son was born at 36 weeks on the nose, and that seemed terrifying enough, he was so tiny. I couldn’t imagine tacking on another three weeks. Hang in there, I am positive that she’s in great hands. It was my first that was born early, and thankfully he only had to spend a week in the NICU. My husband and I actually look back on that time fondly now (6 years later). I know that sounds insane – but we learned SO MUCH from those NICU nurses. We were much better, and more relaxed, parents because of them, and transitioning out of the hospital and into our home was a lot easier than expected. I know how much it hurts though, and how incredible hard it is to spend day after day in the hospital when all you want to do is bring them home. All those cuddles and kisses will do wonders though – my Oliver is still an absolute cuddle bug. Hang in there Mamma!
Chris M
My little girl was born at 33 weeks. She has needed all the support we can give her and we’ll never stop. Her mom has been so strong and I’m so proud of her.
Katrina
It sounds like your little girl and her Mamma are both very lucky 🙂 Hang in there! I know first hand just how hard / stressful / taxing / nerve wracking / scary those early days in the NICU are with a premie. You just keep up that incredible positive attitude that you have, and you’ll all be home before you know it.
Carol Traughber
Suki is nervous of show and tell. An interactive e-book with activities that help kids learn about their emotions.
Kelly Anderson
I think it would be great to have children be encouraged to have conversations in person with parents, friends, neighbours etc. I find quite a few people these days comfortable with texts and emails, but are not so adept at coping in social situations where you actually have to look someone in the eye and listen and respond. Maybe something on the importance of being social would be nice